Tag Archive for 'lies'

MPs in black square abuse probe

In an unprecedented political development today, it was revealed that almost every MP in the UK has been billing the taxpayer for the purchase of numerous black squares, many of which are believed to have been misused for private business. While members of the public are believed to broadly support the use of black squares Continue reading →

Dead Badger Removal: The Facts

It has come to my attention that an increasing number of people arrive here looking for guidance on how to legally remove a dead badger, only to leave disappointed. Never let it be said that I don’t respond to popular demand; here is what you need to know. Enacted in 1916 as an emergency war Continue reading →

Inept Ontology, or, The Modern-day Pinocchio

Hewn before the knowing of Time from some antipodean proto-tree, the Australian Cricket Captain is a beast not of flesh, nor of myth. Born without language or love, he knows but one desire: to execute his skills. And yet, and yet; the latest of this kind feels an alien hunger stirring within his gnarled breast. Continue reading →

Noel Edmonds’ Life Story

It’s just come to my attention that someone arrived at my site having googled “Noel Edmonds [sic] Life Story”, something it conspicuously lacks. I apologise, and offer the following: Born fully-bearded into the loveless marriage of Clements Freud and Atlee, the young Noel’s massively outsized forearms immediately marked him out for great things. Having enjoyed Continue reading →