Monthly Archive for April, 2009

Dead Badger Removal: The Facts

It has come to my attention that an increasing number of people arrive here looking for guidance on how to legally remove a dead badger, only to leave disappointed. Never let it be said that I don’t respond to popular demand; here is what you need to know. Enacted in 1916 as an emergency war Continue reading →

Stupid posters (again)

It seems plenty of other people are finding the freaky Met poster campaign disturbing. Firstly, there’s another one I hadn’t seen, if anything even dafter than the first: Hurray, everybody! Let’s start poking through our neighbours’ rubbish and reporting things we don’t understand! It’ll be a blast (boom boom (boom boom)). The internet being the Continue reading →

Inept Ontology, or, The Modern-day Pinocchio

Hewn before the knowing of Time from some antipodean proto-tree, the Australian Cricket Captain is a beast not of flesh, nor of myth. Born without language or love, he knows but one desire: to execute his skills. And yet, and yet; the latest of this kind feels an alien hunger stirring within his gnarled breast. Continue reading →

Quis custodiet (ipsos custodes)2? Oh, it’s me. Right.

I’ve just arrived home, having spent a pleasant evening in the company of Messrs Canon L. Printer and Henry The Depressed Fern. Printers, as any fule kno, were put on this Earth to test us, and to separate the merely persistent from those prepared to spend three solid hours making the requisite sacrifices of dead Continue reading →