Monthly Archive for February, 2007

Sweet zombie Jesus

I just bought myself a manbag. That’s not the problem. The problem is the marketing material I just found in my manbag, which made me want to throw up in the nearest handy receptacle. Fortunately I was still holding the manbag. Here is the glurge: So you’re interested in PUMA? Nice move. You’re obviously smart, Continue reading →

Pro Forma

It takes a dedicated professional to write a good form. You may think that one you did in Word with the custom editable fields was nifty, but it wasn’t. This is an art-form, my friends (arf arf). I’m prepared to bet, for example, that your effort didn’t have anything as inspired as the following, lifted Continue reading →

You’re a bastard. Me too, though

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. — Mel Brooks I’m watching Little Miss Sunshine at the moment, and a highly unoriginal thought just struck me, which is that we, collectively, are a complete set of bastards. We laugh at the most horrible things. Continue reading →

Hiding on the Edge

Professional sport is a dog eat dog world (dog eating itself may be a professional sport by now; who knows?). Sportsmen are constantly searching for new tactics to give themselves an edge over their opponents. Some are specific to certain sports; others are more widely applicable. Take, for example, England’s victory from this morning over Continue reading →

The Dr Pepper Conundrum (3)

Dear Barry, (may I call you Barry?) It is with a heavy heart that I write to you today, for my cat, Lucky, passed away last night. I know what you’re thinking, but no; in fact it was a lamentable lack of curiosity that did him in. Had he shown more interest in the approaching Continue reading →